


you've got a second chance you could go home

by kinglwt



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Doctors & Physicians, Fluff, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Liam Payne & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, M/M, Nurses, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Zayn Malik & Harry Styles Friendship, harry stays for a week, louis has been there for two months, niall is just kinda friends with everyone, oh yeah drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-24 06:02:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinglwt/pseuds/kinglwt
Summary: "I'll love you no matter how messed up you are."AU where Louis hates the world, Harry hates himself, and all it takes is a week in a mental hospital for everything to change.





	you've got a second chance you could go home

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooo. this is my first book so if it sucks i'm sorry. i have a lot of plans for this book and i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i enjoy writing it. just letting you know that it's going to be triggering so be careful. there's gonna be mentions of self harm, suicide, depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders in this book so read at your own risk. umm idk what else to say so yeah enjoyy.

**I** t's a Friday night. Every teenager in Holmes Chapel is going to the high school football game to cheer on the team. Well, almost every teenager. Harry Styles isn't going. He wouldn't have gone anyway but now he most certainly can't even if he wanted to. Instead he is in the passenger's seat of his stepfather's car next to his mother who has tear stained cheeks and glassy eyes. His mother turns the car left, going past a sign labeled "White Willow Hospital in 1 mile". Harry now wishes he never told his parents. He didn't even feel anything when he took the pills. He was expecting to throw up right away or start foaming at the mouth but nothing happened. He just crawled back into bed and shut his eyes, hoping that the pills would take effect and he wouldn't ever wake up. Obviously, that didn't happen. Now he's on the way to the hospital and all he expects out of it is to get jabbed with needles and a clap on the back from his doctor. He has no idea what's coming.

∫

The sliding glass doors opened and once inside Harry could undoubtedly feel the eeriness that typically came with being in a hospital. He could hear the faint sound of an ambulance's siren and watched as paramedics rushed out of the doors he and his mother had just used to enter White Willow Hospital.

As they approached the front desk in the emergency unit, Harry's stomach constricted, and he wasn't certain if it was due to the nervousness of being in a hospital or the pills.

The lady at the front desk asks how she can help. As soon as Anne, Harry's mother, says the words overdose, the lady's eyes go wide. She quickly composes herself and punches in an extension.

As they wait, Harry focuses his eyes on the floor trying to stay alert even though the drugs in his body cause him to feel like he's swimming in a vast desolate sea of nothingness. He's finally feeling something, but now he doesn't know why. He only took 15 pills. Or 16. Or maybe 17. Honestly, Harry doesn't know how many he took exactly. He just dumped a bunch into his hand and swallowed them with water in one swift move.

Harry returns his attention to the present as an unknown lady comes towards him with a computer on a rolling cart.

"Name?" She asks with a bored expression. Shocked at her attitude, Harry turns to witness his mother bearing a similar face as himself as she hastily states his name.

"Harry Styles."

"Date of birth?" The woman sighs.

Anne's facial expression instantly turns to anger as she gives the lady his birthday. "I'm sorry ma'am I couldn't hear you, could you repeat that?"

"February 1st, 1994" Anne says slowly, giving the woman a death stare.

" _Mom_ ," Harry whispers. He doesn't need her fighting with people who are just trying to help him.

His mother sighs and holds a hand to her temple as she continues answering the questions.

_How_   _many did he take?_ About 15.  _Has he thrown up or shown signs of nausea?_ No.  _When did he take the pills?_  Early this morning.  _When did he tell you?_  about 6:00 in the evening.  _What did he take?_  Zoloft.

Harry begins to feel dizzy just standing there watching his mother and the nurse, who Harry has has been told to call Mrs. James. He leans onto the wall near the front desk for support and makes eye contact with the lady sitting there, who gives him a sympathetic look. Harry brings his eyes back down to the floor.

After a long time of Harry's mom and Mrs. James bickering back and forth, the nurse prints out a little tiny white band from her computer and gestures for Harry to hold his arm out. He chooses to use his clean arm. The left arm. She tacks the bracelet on his wrist and leads the two of them into another section of the emergency wing.

∫

Ms. Lana, the head nurse, had given him charcoal to drink. "It's to help bond the contents of your stomach." Ms. Lana explains in response to Harry's confused look when she hands him the cup. Harry looks down at the cup in his hands and stares at the thick black substance. He hesitantly brings the straw to his lips. Hopefully it doesn't taste that bad.

It tastes fucking  _disgusting_. Harry can't even finish the first cup and he's supposed to have two servings? Hell no. He sets the nightmare of a drink back on the counter and goes back to his hospital bed. The room is small. And depressing. It barely has enough room for one bed and a chair. There isn't even a door, just a mere curtain hiding Harry from the rest of the hospital.

Harry looks down at the dark blue scrubs that he was given to wear upon entering the room.  _These are for people who we believe are a danger to themselves. You are not authorized to leave this room unless you have a nurse with you._

Harry even has to have a one on one which is basically a babysitter who sits in the room with him and his mom. Speaking of his mom, she's sitting in the chair on the phone with god knows who recapping everything that happened in the last hour.

"He took the pills this morning but didn't tell us until later. Yeah I called poison control and they said to take him to the nearest hospital."

Harry recalls begging his mother to just leave it, after all, he only took a few pills. But to no avail, his step father and mother agreed that this was the best course of action.

Harry turns to his one on one who smiles hesitantly. He sighs and flops back down on the bed pulling the pillow over his face.

Maybe if he shuts his eyes really tight all of this will go away and it will be like it never happened. Maybe if he just pretends he's at home, he'll open his eyes and be in his actual room. Maybe- "Harry."

Harry slowly takes the pillow off his face to see his mother sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, staring at him.

"What?"

"Honey why did you do this? I thought you were doing well" His mother questions.

Harry lays back into the crisp white sheets. "M'not doing well I guess."

"Well obviously not," Anne snaps her cell phone shut and moves closer, which results in Harry moving farther. "You do realize once we go home I'm gonna have to take your zoloft away from you and only I'll be permitted to give it to you."

Harry opens his mouth to respond but someone else beats him to it. "He's not gonna be going home." a squeaky voice says. Harry and Anne both turn their attention over to the one on one, who has a name tag labeled Kiara.

"What do you mean he won't be going home?" Anne asks with a tone of venom. "Once a doctor finally clears him safe we will be getting out of here."

"Right. But the doctor may not clear him fit to leave."

Anne narrows her eyes at Kiara as Harry grips the bed rail and feels the cold metal against his hot flesh. What does she mean he's not going home? He has to go home. Where else is he gonna go?

Just as Anne gets ready to destroy the poor girl, the doctor bursts through the door.

"Hello, Harry!"

Why the hell is he so happy?

"I'm Dr. Avery and I'll be accessing you."

"About time" Anne mutters under her breath.

Dr. Avery kindly asks everyone but Harry to leave the room and after convincing his mother that Harry will be fine, she reluctantly leaves the room.

Harry watches as the doctor sets down his burnt coffee from the vending machine and grabs a chair, the scrape of metal against the floor. He sits putting one leg over the other, propping his clipboard up with his knee. Then he clicks his pen and his eyes look up from the clipboard to Harry.

He has tan skin and bright green eyes that intimidate Harry. He feels like they are reading his mind, and he didn't give them permission.

"So, what's wrong Harry?"

Ah, the question of the century.

∫

Most of the questions were pretty simple.  _How many did you take? What were you feeling as you took them? "When did you take them?"_ Harry has heard it all before.

Harry answers each question quickly, itching to go home. He doesn't like hospitals. Being in a hospital means there's something wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with Harry, thank you very much. So what if he took pills and tried to kill himself? It didn't work so why is everyone making such a big deal out of this? Harry's eyes travel to the floor. He's fine. He will always be fine.

"Harry are you ok?"

Harry's gaze swivels back up to Dr. Avery who is giving him a hard look.  _Please stop staring at me._

"No, I'm not okay. Obviously I'm not okay. I'm in a fucking hospital for no reason and nobody will let me go home and I'm fine and all I want to do is just leave.

Harry expects Dr. Avery to scream at him or hit him or at least react. But he just smiles. The fucker  _smiles_. "You are here for a reason though, Harry. You took an overdose."

"Didn't work" Harry mumbled. The doctor sighs and begins to ask the question that Harry had been dreading this whole time. Dr. Avery doesn't even get all the words out before Harry's heart starts beating faster than it ever had before.

_Have you ever self harmed Harry?_

This isn't happening. Harry can handle a lot. He can handle his dad leaving and his sister hating him and his friends abandoning him but he most certainly cannot handle this.  _Please just let me die right now. I'll do anything. Please can a miracle just happen?_

"Harry?"

_It'll be so much easier when I'm gone. Nobody will have to deal with this. I'll save my mother so much stress just please._

"Harry!"

Before Harry realizes it he's crying, tears streaming down his face, his heart beating so fast Harry hopes it will give out and he'll die.

"So what if I do?" Harry manages to say in between sobs.

"Well then we will find the best course of treatment for you. But I need you to tell me how you've self harmed."

_Well, no point in lying now. The crying was a dead giveaway._

Harry slowly holds up his right arm, showing multiple shiny red lines littering his wrist.

"Oh, you cut." Dr. Avery says nonchalantly, looking back down to the clipboard and scribbling something.

_What the heck?_

The doctor notices Harry's crying has halted and looks back to Harry, who's barely masking a confused face.

"I see it all the time."

"Oh."

Well that was a waste of tears.

"Do you ever hear voices in your head?"

"What? Of course not."

"Okay calm down. It's just a question Harry."

Harry just wants this to end. These questions are becoming ridiculous and they aren't helping anything.

"Can you just clear me already so I can go home?" Harry blurts.

Harry has told him everything he needs to know and the pills didn't kill him so why the hell can't he just go?

"Just one more question."

"Fine"

"Why did you take the pills?"

Fuck. This is even worse than the self harm question.

"I guess I- I mean I don't- I don't know." Harry sighs.

"That's okay. Just take a deep breath and answer me as honestly as you can." Dr. Avery explains calmly.

"I guess I just didn't want to live anymore. I wasn't actively trying to kill myself but- I mean like let's say I was walking in front of a car right?" Dr. Avery nods intently, glad that he's finally getting something. "Well maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if the car, I don't know, hit me and killed me. Like I wouldn't try and get out of the way. I guess that was my mindset when I took the pills. But I kind of just took them on impulse, I wasn't thinking.

After a painful silence, the only sound the scribbling from Dr. Avery's pen, the doctor finally looks up at Harry.

"How would you feel about going to a psychiatric ward for a week?"

"No."

"Harry-"

"No. Just no."

Dr. Avery sighs. "I'll bring your mother back in and we can talk with her about it."

"There's nothing to talk about!" Harry exclaims but Dr. Avery is already bringing back in Anne and Kiara.

∫

Harry's going. There's no getting around it. He tried several times to negotiate with his mother and the doctor, even turning to Kiara for help who just ended up giving him a helpless look. He can't even stay in this hospital because they don't have a psych ward here. He has to get transferred to Pine Valley Medical Center.

_It's not the worst thing in the world, Harry. I've seen kids come back from this all the time. You just need help._

The words from his mother and doctor swim around in his head as Kiara walks him to the bathroom. He can't even go to the fucking bathroom by himself.

After he safely locks the door behind him, he goes straight to the mirror.

He observes himself. Chocolate brown locks, bright green eyes, pale skin. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Maybe he can break out of here. There's no windows so that's out of the question. But where would he even go? He can't go home. He can't go to a friends house. He's stuck.

The knocking at the door startles him.

"Harry? Are you okay in there?"

"Fine." Harry squeaks out.

He turns back to the mirror. Maybe he can break the glass and use a shard to just end it all right now.

"No. Not right now." Harry breathes out.

He washes his hands and opens the door to reveal a concerned looking Kiara.

"They're here, Harry."

Fuck. Harry can't handle this. He's about to go to a fucking mental hospital and meet delinquent kids whose parents couldn't handle them. He won't fit in with them. Or maybe he will. Harry chuckles darkly to himself as they walk back to his room.

When they arrive back at the room, two men in uniform are waiting with a stretcher. What the fuck?

"I can walk." Harry says harshly.

"For legal purposes we're gonna need you to hop up on here." One of the paramedics smiles at him.

He sighs and gets up on the stretcher, laying down as they strap him in. Before he knows it, his mother is at his side.

"Baby I love you and we are gonna get past this okay? I love you so much." She blathers as Harry is wheeled to an ambulance. He ignores her. All he can think about are the kids he's gonna meet. Will they be crazy? Will they be mean?

The paramedics count to three before lifting him up into the ambulance, his mother scrambling in after him. He closes his eyes, hearing the ambulance doors shut. 


End file.
